It’s been a busy couple of weeks. In my last post, I revealed I need to start working out. It hasn’t been an easy process. I HAVE been going to the gym and pool. So there’s that. However, after I am done, I want ALL the calories. ALL the calories in the world! In.My.Belly. I’m thinking that’s not going to work in my favor as far as losing weight, so I need to make some changes there as well. Right now, the goal is just to move more than before, and take things step by step. More changes will come, but for now, I’m starting with making moving around a new habit.
Look, I am a firm believer that most people don’t really change all that much. People are who they are, and that’s that. People don’t magically become a totally different person, and if they tell you they are, they are full of shit. People’s edges wear off a little, they get new habits, but the core of who they are is what it is. For example, I have a temper. I have a batshit crazy, will rip your face off temper. I also am a grown woman who knows it’s not cute to be losing her temper and doing the crazy stuff I used to do when I was younger, so I work hard at trying to maintain my temper. Don’t be mistake, I can snap back to the rage of my youth in a New York second, but for the most part, I keep it on the level. I am a woman who loves ice cream and chocolate. That’s not gonna change. I just know that I’m at an age where I need to eat more salads these days. So I will give it a go….
….after I take the kids for ice cream tonight, that is. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
In other news, I had a great trip visiting my dad and stepmother this weekend. The kids and I drove down to his house, about a 5 1/2 hour drive. They watched the kids for me the first night so I could make a few stops to see friends. The first stop was my good friend’s grandmother’s 90th birthday. Yes, my vacation started off with a 90th birthday party, and it was amazing. We didn’t tell her I was coming, and surprised her. I spent a lot of time at her house in my early 20’s, and she was like another grandmother to me. I walked in and she looked absolutely delighted to see me, giving me hug after hug after hug. She hadn’t aged a bit since I had met her, even though decades had passed. We were so happy to see each other (it had been about 5 years) and it was an utter joy and honor to be there for her birthday. My friend’s family and other friends were there and I hadn’t seen many of them in years. People were coming up to give me big hugs and ask about my husband and kids, asking how we all were. Some of the folks there were kids when they first met me, but they remembered me and ran up to give me a hug. I was so touched by all the love and friendship.
After the party, I headed the half hour back to where my dad lives to have a late dinner with another one of my good friends. It’s funny, my friends down there are all parents, and we don’t talk much on the phone. We’ll send the occasional facebook message, or touch base a few times a year, but as soon as we get together you can’t shut us up. We fall right back into our friendships like not even a day has passed us by. We’re all the same kids who were running amuck back in the day, creating chaos and hanging out for days on end. These are some of the people who know me the best. They know who I’ve always been, where I come from, and they know that I’m still that same girl, if not a little older, wiser, and ok, calmer. We’re all very different from each other, and there’s a lot we probably disagree on. But what we do have is a history of good and bad times, a solid knowledge of each other, and we agree to disagree. It’s times when I go down there to visit that I am always touched by how long we’ve been friends and how lucky I am to have had friends that long. While she doesn’t live down south, I am still friends with my first best friend from school. If something happens, she knows me through and through. When I do a facebook post about my mom, she and my friends from down south always comment. They knew her well and loved her too.
Sunday and Monday I hung out with my dad and step mom. We went boating, went out to eat, fished, and sat around talking with my step brother and his family. I wish I could have stayed a few extra days. There never seems to be enough time with my dad. He’s the quiet sort. He has a lifetime of amazing stories that he never thinks to tell anyone, until he suddenly will mention something off hand and I have to say “wait…what?” I’m fascinated by all the things he knows and has done, but I know he’ll never tell me it all. Not because he doesn’t want to, he just doesn’t think to. I don’t think he realizes how interesting he is.
The drive home with the kids was actually one of the best long road trips in a while. The three of us laughed and laughed, told stories, listened to comedy shows on netflix, and it was a nice no-pressure time. I didn’t have to be mom, which can sometimes be exhausting. Momming is hard, man. I’m a mom first, their friend second. With the husband working, I have to be the bad guy more than I’d like….having them pick up after themselves, reminding about homework, saying no to stuff. Sometimes it’s nice to just be another person in the car. My daughter asked why I call my dad’s house home as well as our house. “Wherever your parents are is home” was my response. “When you grow up, and have a family of your own, or a career of your own, wherever Daddy and I are will be your home too. You’re always welcome there, you’ll always be loved there, and home is where the love is.” I’m glad I got to tell the kids that. They both seemed to like that answer, and I saw them both settle into a little smile.
Well, life is short, and ice cream is yummy, so I’m off to treat the kiddos (and myself). Tomorrow, I’ll try and eat a salad. Everything in moderation.