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Chubby Malificient

Halloween is over.  Halloween is a massive holiday in my house, probably my husband’s favorite.  We decorate the house, pull out all the animatronics, and do it up.  We also dress up, have family dress up, and we haunt the neighborhood.  We typically get several hundred kids a year trick or treating.

This year, my “Descendants 2” obsessed daughter wanted to go as Mal, and asked me to go as Malificient.  Now, Malificient is one of my favorite movies, but I wasn’t really feeling it for Halloween.  That being said, my daughter is only a few years away from being mortified by my very existence, and I know this. She will head into the pre teens, embarrassed by me, as most kids are.  I know I have to soak up every moment of her being proud of me now, as I may need those memories to cling to later.

So I get myself a costume.  And to be fair, a lot of kids and parents liked it.  Some kids trick or treating  even asked me to take photos with them!  I felt rather honored. I felt pretty cute in my costume, and was pretty pleased with how it came out.

Then I saw the pictures.

Oof.

I looked HUGE. After they cancelled my aqua zumba class that I loved, I stopped going to the Y.  The kids’ activities were taking up 7 days a week and there was no time for me.  My weight loss from the “year of yes” has crept back since it’s been the summer of “I can’t my kids have practice”.  It’s not their fault, it all belongs squarely onto my shoulder, and chins, and I could go on but it’s depressing me……

Tomorrow is my 25th high school reunion.  I’m going, even though I had to leave sophmore year because we moved.  I went to middle school and high school with these folks, and I’d like to see them again. I am less, enthused, however, after seeing those pictures of myself.  How did I let myself go like this?  Granted, I haven’t gained 20 lbs over the summer, but it shows that I am not looking after myself properly.  I look tired, my skin looks drab, and I have thrown a few lbs back on.  I feel like I have lost my luster.  Add to that the medical stuff, and I feel so DRAINED.  I need to get back on track, and take better care of myself.

My daughter sees me only as Mommy.  The mommy who loves her unconditionally, the mommy who sings her awake every morning with silly songs.  I am the giver of hugs, the one who makes sure things are handled.  I am her soft place to land after a hard day.  I suppose I would like to be less physically soft..lol.  My decision to consider surgery in the next few months is based on trying to keep myself healthy for my kids and my husband.  It’s time I started making better choices, taking baby steps, and getting my butt in gear.  The first step is the hardest.

I don’t want to be chubby malificient.

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Good Deeds and One Decision

Every now and again, I try to do a kind deed.  Whether it be buying coffee for the person behind me at Dunkin Donuts, or doing a little surprise for a stranger.  Usually I do it when I am having a horrible day, not because because I feel I will get repaid in any sort of way, but because the thought of making someone smile a little brings a little spark to an otherwise crapfest of a day.  Usually I do things where I won’t see the person’s reaction, and I’d like to think it’s a happy one.  I feel like when the world seems like it’s in chaos, a little kindness feels grounding.  Mr Roger’s said his mom told him to “look for the helpers”.  I’d like to be a helper.  My husband is a helper.  He sometimes gives money to panhandlers and when I have asked him why he gives knowing they are often scammers, he gave me an answer that stuck with me.  He said it’s your intent when you give a hand, not their intent.  He gives freely, with no expectations, with no judgement. He grew up volunteering at a homeless shelter.  Giving is in his nature.

Yesterday I dropped the kids off to school, and promptly saw the gas light was on in the car.  I headed over to the gas station, only to see that they couldn’t accept cards, so I went to the one across the street (why the put identical businesses across the street is beyond me, but yesterday I was rather thankful for it.  I went in my bag to get my card out and a face appeared at my window.  I won’t lie, it unnerved me.  I sat there, unsure what to do.  I cracked the window and the man started telling me his story.  Said his car had broke down near the highway and he needed a new serpentine belt.  Said his AAA wasn’t paid up, and that he needed $16 dollars to get a new one (he had taken the max atm withdrawal out. but was short.  It was a scam.  I knew he was bullshitting me.  At first I was afraid he wanted a ride and I said I was sorry, but no way could I put a stranger in my car.  He laughed and said no way would he expect that. He was just trying to raise $16 dollars.  He told me about his job, handed me his passport, which looked dogeared.  The name he gave me matched the passport, and the picture matched his face.   Even though I knew I was likely being lied to, I gave him the money.  He handed me a piece of paper with his email, and he left.  I went to put gas in the car, and as I did so, I watched him run across to the other gas station, grab a backpack, and hope on a white bike.  I watched him ride off.  I wasn’t sure what to think.  Clearly, his story was bogus if he had a bike nearby.  I felt sad.  Not for the fact I had been scammed, because I had surmised it was a scam all along.  I felt sad because he had needed to do it.  Normal people don’t go around scamming people.

Later than day, I pulled out the paper with the email address.  It was a name@gmail type of email, so I looked up the name.  My friends nicknamed me Angela Lansbury a few years ago because I could “find” or “locate” people.  I found it a relaxing hobby, and was able to find some long lost relatives for friends of mine.  In the age of computers, it’s not all that hard to do.  I found his facebook profile.

What I saw was a bit shocking. I saw he had been arrested a few times for trespassing and possession. That fell in line with the scam.  Then I sawwe  grew up in the same town.  He was clearly at some point quite affluent, as there were pictures of him on his boat, at a yacht club, and info about his business.  I also saw that he was facebook friends with some of my friends.  Interestingly, he was friends with my old ex, who wasn’t on my facebook page, but who I saw on his friends list.  It was utterly bizarre.  Was his story real after all?  He appeared to be much more affluent than I was.   I messaged one of our mutual friends who had ended up dating my ex for some time after he and I split.

She responded to me this morning.  Her story was an interesting one.  Apparently this guy had lived with her and my ex for a while.  They were really good friends.  Then over time he started acting off and got into drugs.  He left and struggled with addiction.  He would pull himself out of it, and then fall back in.  He had cleaned up for a while, gotten married, and then his wife passed.  She told me that I had done a kind thing, but that he had likely sunk back into drugs.  It seemed odd because recent facebook posts had him seemingly on the ok track.

I’m left saddened.  The fact is, I may have met him in my younger years.  We clearly hung around the same people.  He was obviously doing quite well for himself, and now is left asking a check to check mom of two for money.  I feel a bit foolish for giving it.  I feel like I may have enabled him, which makes me feel like my good deed fell to a bad one.  Mostly, I feel just sad.

I have always told people “you are always just one small decision from a whole new life”.  I have told my children this, and I believe it.  One small decision can change one’s whole path in life, either for the better, or for the worse.  I tell my children this so that they will be mindful of consequences, but also so that they know that no matter how bad life gets, a small decision can set you on a new path to a happier life.  In other words, you can always change your life if you aren’t happy. I wonder how some choices ended him up in that gas station parking lot.

Part of me wants to email him and just let him know that I hope he’ll be ok in life.  Part of feels like I need to let it go.

 

 

Catch up time

Hi Y’all.

It’s been a while.  I’ve actually logged in and started writing, but never finished a post, or just never clicked the publish button.  I miss writing though, and it felt like the time to catch up.

So from my past posts you saw I was trying out the whole “living the yes life”.  I tried saying yes rather than no to new opportunities and events.  It was fun, I learned a lot, I enjoyed myself, and I even lost some weight.  Things were trucking along.  Then my favorite excercise class got cancelled.  Summer showed up with birthdays most weekends.  Work geared up with new challenges.  Life got busy with too much yes.  So now I am learning how to gracefully say no to some things.  It’s a learning process, because no so often comes with that thing called guilt, and I am no so good at handling the guilt aspect of it.

One of my biggest “yes” moment this year was allowing my son to sign up for football. I love football, and buy tickets for us to go to NFL games as our “romantic trip” each year. That being said, I learned that it’s a different feeling altogether sending my son out on the field.  The time commitment is huge…5 nights a week, plus games on weekends.  He asked me to do it.  He wanted to do something new this year, and had been showing a lot of interest in football.  Each of the kids choose one sport/activity per season.  I’ve offered them to do more than one, but they generally prefer to stick to one thing.  This one is the work of 7 activities.

When I learned of the schedule, my brain wanted to bleed out onto the floor.  As it is I work full time, have another child who does gymnastics that I have to coordinate for, 2 pets, a husband and a house that is the messiest it has ever been.  I am in chaos. A LOT of chaos.  Now there are many of you out there who handle all of these with no problem.  You are skilled, and oraganized, neat freakish and super moms.

I am not any of those things.

I am a domestic fail, tired (hot DAMN I am so tired), I am figuring out this mom thing as I go, and I do it mostly by myself since my husband works opposite hours.  It’s not pretty, it’s not graceful, but I get a lot of it done.  Not ALL mind you, hence the messy house.  I am that mom screeching into the parking lot at the last minute with kids still putting cleats on, or me jumping out to quickly braid hair before gymnastics. That movie Bad Moms?  Yep.  That would be me.

Now I have spent 11 years protecting my son.  Keeping him safe. When a kid shoved him a playground I close talked that kid and told him not to lay one single finger on my kid again (I love a good close talk when you need to get a message across). Now, by his choice, I am sending him out on a field to be shoved and pushed and knocked down. Coaches are gruff.  He’s going to get banged up and bruised.  I have to stand or sit there and hold it together and not want to run out and snap legs when someone hurts him.  I have to remain tough and straight faced.  It is just so HARD.  The only reason I do it is because he seems to kind of love it.  Even on the hard days.  Yesterday was hard.  He went down and didn’t get right back up.  He was hurt.  He was frustrated. He questioned his ability to do it all.  He came home, and I fussed over him a little.  He let me.  In the car this morning I reminded him that not everything will come easily to him.  He’s always been that kid that’s learned things quickly. I reminded him of his frustration when he tried a Rubik’s cube.  He had gotten so angry at his inability to solve it.  I had explained to him at the time that most people couldn’t solve them, but that I knew someone who could, and there were certain tricks to solve them.  He sat down and damn if he didn’t teach himself how.  Before long, he was testing himself on speed of solving it.  He reached in his bag this morning and low and behold, was his Rubik’s cube.  Before long he was quickly working on solving it.  mI asked him “do you still want to continue with football? do you still kind of love it?”  He said yes. So today we go again. I will proudly watch him succeed, and I will proudly watch him fail sometimes too, because the kid is giving it his all.

The little one, who I have always referred to as Tiny Diva in this blog, has lost a lot of her Diva-ness.  She had been a tough cookie from 2-4, but she has now settled in to herself. I’ll call her LM, for Little Mama.  Gymnastics has been a huge saving grace.  My sister in law noticed how flexible LM was and mentioned she might be good at gymnastics.  I signed her up, and the benefits have been enormous.  My daughter, who was struggling in school with some self confidence issues, started picking up steam and having more faith in herself.  She has better self esteem, more confidence, and has a good body image.  We talk a lot about being strong and healthy, and that happy girls are pretty girls.  My favorite shirt of hers has the words “princess” and “diva” crossed out, and it says “SMART, TALENTED GIRL”.  The girl who used to pretend like she didn’t know things is coming out of her shell.  She is learning the fine line between being a leader, and being bossy.  Sometimes, it’s a difficult conversation to have.  Women are often told that if they are leaders, they are bitches, bossy, a nag, etc.  Growing up, I remember being told not to voice my opinions so much, to be quite, to fade into the background more.  I’m working on finding a good way to explain how to be a leader, without being bossy and making other kids feel like she’s ordering them around.

Our beloved cat passed away a few months ago.  I had to make the decision to put her down.  She had cancer.  It was heartbreaking.  We all felt the loss, even the dog.  He seemed down and I often wondered if he knew she had died.  He didn’t quite seem himself.  Our family seemed incomplete to me after a while, and I started looking at Petfinder to see if any cats “called” to me. I scrolled through endless pictures over a few weeks until I found a cat that caught my eye.  He was an orange tabby, about 6 months to a year old.  He looked stoned.  He reminded me of the comedian Jim Breuer.  Someone had put him in a box, duct taped it, and left him outside of a store on March 11th.  I was in a wedding that day, and I remember it being bone chillingly cold when the wind blew. I felt awful for this poor cat.  I emailed about him.  I told my husband who seemed less than inclined to get another cat.  “I want you to come with me to see him” I said.  He didn’t sound thrilled.  I said “he kind of looks like Jim Breuer”.  “What time are we going?” he replied.  When I commented I was surprised in his change of heart, he responded “You just told me the cat looks like Jim Breuer, how could I not go meet him?”.  We drove all the way up to the rescue, only to find out the cat had gone to the vet for not eating.  After a few days, the rescue called and asked if I wanted to foster him.  They thought the cat might be depressed in the shelter environment and wanted to see if he would improve in a home environment.  Well, let me tell you, the cat eats more than the dog.  He’s now a member of the family.  He’s a nutjob, full of energy, and wants love the most when anyone is in the bathroom.  He will knock on the bathroom door to come in, and even try to turn the handle to get in.  Every night he and the dog go to each kid’s room to say goodnight.  He fits right in.

So there you have it.  Life right now is about preparing for school starting, football, work, gymnastics, football, pet hair creating tumbleweeds in my house, football and trying to get things done.  It’s a happy time, if not chaotic.  Just like my son is learning something new, I am learning a new schedule, new ways to make it work.  Anything that brings more chaos is just not something I have time for.  I’m keeping things as bare bones as possible, and I’ll work up from there. In just 3 weeks my whole schedule changes again.  So that mom cheering wildly on the sidelines, or from the balcony at gymnastics? The one holding a vat of coffee?  That will be me. I may be in chaos for a while, but it’s a happy chaos.

 

 

 

 

11 Years.

In just a few days, it will have been 11 years since my mom died.  I can hardly believe it.  So much has happened in those 11 years.  While most of my huge life changes happened in the few months before she died (birth of my son, marriage, new home, back to work), life has kept moving.  My father eventually remarried.  I went through many stages of grief.  I had my daughter.  Life keeps moving forward, and it seems so strange to me at times that it has.  The moment when you lose a parent is the moment that life stops for a bit.  A part of you goes with them.  The part that is your endless cheerleader.  The part that made you feel like it would be ok during times when it felt anything but.  The part that was your calm from the storm.  The part that made sure you had a cup of tea after a car accident, because tea has to make you feel better.  The part that when you heard their voice when life was the toughest, would make you cry.

I was lucky.  While there were bumps in the road along the way,  my mom and I had a great relationship when I became an adult.  She was my first phone call when life happened, good or bad.  We made each other laugh.  I know not everyone has that kind of relationship with their parents, so I know how lucky I am to have had it.

It’s odd, because as each year passes, each anniversary of her death hits me in a completely different way.  Last year seemed a bit easier.  This year seems to be hitting me a bit harder.  I try very hard to take the grief more private.  I know it makes people around me feel a bit awkward.  I know this seems ironic because I’m writing about it in a blog, which is out there for the world to see, but supposedly this is a bit more anonymous.  I’m not ashamed of missing her, of having some moments of grief for my loss, but it does make others feel at a bit of a loss for words.  I have many strong women around me who have fantastic relationships with their moms. It brings me a lot of joy to see, but of course, I miss having that myself.

This year, it is a bit more difficult that some years past.  It doesn’t make much sense why.  I plan on turning it around a bit and doing some things to celebrate her life.  (She’d probably tell me to celebrate by cleaning my messy house..lol).  I want to find ways to incorporate her memory into a fun activity for the kids.  I can keep her memory alive with stories and pictures for them, but it’s always nice to do a fun thing in her memory with them.  She’d want me to laugh, to celebrate.  This is the woman said she thought we should play “ding dong the witch is dead” at her funeral.

So, if you stumble across my litte blog, do something kind in memory of a woman who always befriended the new kid in class, and who looked after those who felt alone.  When she died I heard many a story of how my mom always reached out to the lonely folks or people who needed a friend.  Reach out, make someone who feels unseen feel seen and heard.  Buy someone a coffee, lend a hand.  Listen to someone who feels their voice goes unheard.  Give your kids ice cream before dinner.  Do something, anything, to make someone smile.  Give a little of yourself.  Do something on your bucket list. Help someone else do something on their bucket list.  LIVE!

 

Mob Wives Finale

Well, Loveys,

The series has come to a close, with the finale airing last night.  All that remains is the reunion.  I have to say, I did have a few spoiler alerts before it aired last night, so I was pretty well prepared for it.  For the best Mob Wives spoilers, @RealityAshole on twitter has them all listed out.  They are honestly the best spoiler source out there.  So much to talk about, where to begin?

This episode pretty much centered around Drita.  Then again, the whole season centered around Drita.  Ok, they gave Renee the storyline of her son moving in and Renee being all up in his relationship.  (Don’t even get me started on the cheesy scene with the medium coming over to cleanse her house.) Then she starts dancing at Aj’s suggestion, probably so she will stop wondering what he and his girlfriend are doing 24-7.  Aside from that, Renee had little storyline other than to sit back and be judgy over Brittney, because her father was an FBI informant. Every time Renee uses the word Rat I start laughing, because her husband was a rat, and her bestie’s dad was a rat.  Her rat selectivity is quite amusing.  Have the “acceptable” rat children been downgraded to oversized mice in her eyes, or what?

Then we have Karen.  Karen got a storyline about her dad’s art, and I give credit, his work is amazing.  He’s super talented!  Other than that, there are a few scenes where her relationship with Storm fizzles out in a “it wasn’t much to begin with in the first place” kind of way.  She has a few scenes with her gorgeous daughter, who seems to see Karen as not really an authoritative figure.  Other than that?  It was all about Brittney and Drita.  Oh, and Lee.  Karen always has a lot to say about Lee.  Someone still has a bitter candy in her mouth about him.

Carla.  Carla had no storyline at all aside from Drita aside from a scene where her kids don’t want her around.  Carla calls Joe to talk tough about it and he basically says the kids don’t want the drama.  Other than that…Carla had NOTHING to say this season except if it was about Drita or Brittney.  Drita’s lipstick had a better storyline.  Karen’s hair changing length all season had more action. My little toe….you get it.

Ang had a story.  Hers was the one I was most engaged in, yet most terrified to watch.  I lost my mom to lung cancer, and I know it moves quickly and without mercy.  When the season started, I didn’t know the throat cancer had come back in her lung.  As soon as I heard that, I had a gut feeling things weren’t going to go well, but I held out hope that they would.  Without hope, what do you have, right? Watching Ang talk about her fears for not only herself but for her kids and grandkids brought up a lot of tough memories for me.  She was certainly the brightest spirit on the show, and she will be missed.

Marissa.  I can’t.  I just can’t.  I knew she was supposed to be the back up NatG when she showed up on the scene, and this was confirmed when she showed up in that neon leopard mess that looked like the tacky shit Renee had NatG in for MobCandy.  I don’t know how Marissa even makes it to the set when they film because she walks like an upright sloth.   The slow mo walk, slow mo hair flips, and the valley girl accent from 1982 make me want to scream “don’t you live in NY?  Don’t you know we move fast up here?”  I just find her uninspiring.

Brittney, I wasn’t sure what to make of this season. especially since the show played her link to be Karen. She came across as a bit hot tempered, and defiant.  What I liked about her most was her refusal to be boxed in.  Karen tried to make her tow the line and while she initially seemed willing to at least meet and try, that didn’t last.  Brit watched everyone talk about Drita, but found she had common ground with Drita.  While she caught a lot of flack this season for her friendship with Drita, I liked Brit, and more than I thought I would.

Which brings me to Drita.  To me it felt like most of the girls, aside from Ang, had little else in the way of storyline aside from gossiping about, and bashing Drita.  We see Drita working on her book, running her store, hanging with her kids, and being  pretty busy, but her name is constantly brought up.  I won’t lie, I enjoy Drita and find she makes me laugh more than just about anyone else on the show.  I find her a little terrifying, but she’s hilarious and kind hearted with the people she loves.  In absolute fairness, for what we saw, Marissa did NOT tell Drita that Karen was the one who said that Lee and Oz had talked.  She said that everyone was saying it.  Drita assumed it was Karen based on Karen’s frequent talking about Drita and Lee whenever possible.  When Drita said to Ang that Marissa said it, I was like “oh dear.  no, no she didn’t.”  Now perhaps something was said and was cut in editing, which happens a lot, but I can only go off of what I saw.

So, the big meeting?  From what RA told us, the women were told they could sign off on security leaving, and  Karen and Marissa refused.  I’ve also heard that Karen pulled a chain out of her bag of some sort.  I need to go re watch the footage on that!  Meanwhile, Karen gets mighty mouth when security is holding Drita back.  I don’t think she would have been so quick to talk smack if security wasn’t there.  Honestly, while I don’t really like to see physical violence, I wish these two would just duke it out and let the best woman win.  If you haven’t been following the twitter war, get on it, because a few of the girls are brutal.

Lastly, the scene at the end with Drita, the kids, and then Lee comes down the stairs?  Possibly one of my most favorites.  I laughed out loud when they didn’t show his face.  I would have been shocked if they did.  The men in the lifestyle operate very quietly, for the most part.  When they asked Renee about the Mob and she said “what mob??” that summed it all up.

So all we are left with is the reunion.  I saw the scene from the preview when Drita walks in and simply says “get up Karen” and fell off the couch laughing.  It’s a cock tease…security will be there and we know nothing will really happen, but sometimes you just wish they’d get a good one in. 

Someone mentioned that Karen, for all her talk, is no fighter.  What she is, is dirty.  If you watched the replay of the sit down at the restaurant, when Drita starts getting up, Karen is rummaging in her bag.  Then when Drita lunges, Karen yanks out a chain and start swinging it at her.  Really Karen? Really? The fear is clearly real. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lyme, Munchausen, and more #RHOBH

I sat and watched RHOBH last night and ended the show frustrated, although for several reasons. Enough so, that I had to put fingers to keyboard and write about it.  I’m referring to, of course, the Yolanda Vortex.

It feels like the entire show now centers around Yolanda being sick. Yolanda has stated that not only does she have lyme, but her kids do too.  Their father denied this to Lisa, but Yolanda insists they do and on a prior episode, waved their medical records in Lisa’s face. She also posted pictures of medicine in the children’s name (this appears to be immunotherapy meds from a doc in Alaska who takes patients “over the phone”.  Yolanda has been to doctor after doctor, has a closet full of stuff she takes, and claims she had a 2 foot parasite in her body.  She had silicone leakage from implants.  She has decided she has too many heavy metals in her body.  Hair color is dangerous.  Nail polish has been deemed dangerous and too toxic for her.  The more I see, the more I read, the more I looked up…the crazier this situation seemed.

I will be honest in saying that I missed an episode or two where Yolanda’s illness played out but it initially seemed  odd  to me that so many who know her questioned her illness. I started to look at the situation in much more depth after catching up.

Talk of Munchausen is never thrown around easily, as to be honest, many people don’t even know what it is.  When it appeared on the show, I perked up, curious.  I knew about it from a book I read many years ago, and was surprised it when popped up on TV.  What I did find interesting is her insistence on changing the pronunciation of it, being specific to say it wrong in a different way, every time.  She showed she had looked it up, but interestingly, read the definiton of Munchausen by proxy (where children are involved) vs Munchausen (self sickness). She made sure to mispronounce it, as if to dismiss it just from the sound.    Last night, however, really kicked my suspicion in gear.  I know she said that she did the show to promote awareness, but as someone who has watched severely ill people, they are disinclined to do a whole lot, never mind filming TV shows.  Yet everywhere she goes, Yolanda appears, hair scrunched up, no makeup on.  Let’s be real here.  She is a former model who has always shown up EVERYWHERE with at least minimal effort done.  Whether this is her choice or at the show’s bequest, (editing and scripting, people!) it does seem suspicious she suddenly shows up well dressed everywhere, but doesn’t even brush her hair.  If you are the type to go to the store in PJ’s your whole life, ok, I would not be surprised to see your hair yanked up and no makeup on.  But as a person in the public eye, a former model, and a person who’s life and livelihood revolves around looks, the sudden NON-look looks, well, forced.

I ended the show with a lot of questions, and frustrations. And THEN, Watch What Happens Live came on….

Did I hear this right, that Yolanda said she uses “organic hair color from Whole Foods”? Really?

Yolanda, there is no organic bleach.  Your hair is not even close at the roots to the ends when it grows in.  Someone is bleaching those locks.  Bleach is not organic.  You cannot tell me with a multi million dollar house you are box coloring your hair from the grocery store.  It’s not happening.  And no stylist worth a damn is going to put box color on your hair.  Is their organic hair color? I believe so.  But someone show me organic bleach from the grocery store, please.  I almost choked on my own face with that comment she made.   I asked twitter, and the stylists responded.  We all call bullshit.

There is the matter of the kids.  ONLY because Yolanda brought them up.  So, 3 people all got bit by ticks that just so happened to be infected? These 3 also lived in CA, where reported lyme cases are very, very rare?  Then there was talk of horseflies.  Again, 3 different people all infected by 3 different flies? Per the cdc:

  • There is no credible evidence that Lyme disease can be transmitted through air, food, water, or from the bites of mosquitoes, flies, fleas, or lice.

What are the odds? AND their father denies them having the disease. AND the treatment she posted the picture of for the kids is from, again, a guy who treats people over the phone. This is concerning. If her kids don’t have it, what the hell are they putting in their bodies?

Clearly something is wrong with Yolanda, and while I find some of her claims suspect, I do understand “invisible disease”.  Is it really lyme? Or something else?  I have witnessed FIRST hand how a false lyme diagnosis can cause massive issues, and even death.

While living in the DC area, I saw a doctor there, who was my general practitioner.  I liked her, and thought she was great.  When I complained of some issues, she said she believed I had lyme, and sent me for tests.  They came back inconclusive.  The Dr seemed determined I had Lyme. The Dr said SHE had lyme, and in passing, mentioned her horses had lyme as well. Before we went much further with it, I moved. When my mother needed a new doctor, I referred her to my doctor.  Eventually, my mother was diagnosed with…you guessed it, lyme. The Dr went so far as to have a port inserted into my mother and she had lyme treatments, which were horrible.  My mom got sicker.  She didn’t get better.

In passing conversation with a friend, she mentioned she too was seeing that dr, and the dr believed she had lyme.  Something here was VERY wrong.  I mentioned this to my mom, who said that one day in the waiting room, she heard people chatting in there were MULTIPLE people in the room mentioning how she had diagnosed them with lyme.  Statistically? for a general practitioner to have lyme, say her horses and animals have lyme, and diagnose 3 people in my direct circle with lyme, not to mention multiple patients in the same waiting room…it’s nearly impossible.

I called my father.  “She does NOT have lyme.  Get her to Johns Hopkins asap and if you have to, drop her off and drive away until they see her.  It’s NOT lyme, I would bet on it.

She didn’t have lyme.  You guessed it.

What she had, was lung cancer.  Lung cancer, which her dr never checked because she was so convinced everyone had lyme.  And now, my mom is gone.

I think lyme exists.  I think there are many people out there suffering from it.  I am unsure if Yolanda is one.  But I think that once someone sees a light to the end of a tunnel of illness, it is very easy to put all the eggs in that basket.  Lyme can be hard to diagnose. There are Dr’s out there who don’t believe in it, and those who think it’s far more prevalent than it probably is. There are those who pin what they cannot diagnose on lyme.  There are those, like my former dr, who are determined to be a “voice” of a disease, and who will do so at any cost, even false diagnosis.  It appears she is grasping at straws sometimes, and if I was sick, I probably would too.   I must say that I wonder if some of it is psychosomatic. At the end of the day however, the biggest concern is with her children.  If they don’t have lyme, and I must say since their own father says they don’t, it’s possible, then what kind of chemicals, medicines, and other things are they putting into their bodies without needing to? What will the long term effects be of that?

I know people will think I am silly thinking about the haircolor comment.  It was quick and a one off, but her pause, and then the comment seemed like she was throwing something out there, and what she said certainly appeared false.  You know what they say…one lie erases all truth.

Until next time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mob Wives: Fighting for Life, Fighting in Heels

Sorry it took me an extra day to catch up on Mob Wives, but here I am, full of opinions.  Also, I got mentioned by @_maatteeoo_ when he posted the Drita fight video, so I see a lot of people have been watching it.  Lots of twitter activity, lots to talk about.  If you haven’t watched it, or seen the twitter video of Drita throwing fists, then spoiler alert applies.  Don’t hate.

So Wednesday night’s episode started out with the end of the fight between Brittany and Marissa. Brittany cleared showed up ready to fight, while Marissa showed up in neon leopard and made ME want to smack her for the tacky clothing choice.  Brittany stood up, Marissa hit first, and then they were pulled apart.  I was surpised Brittany didn’t throw a punch since she already had the momentum, but this interview with Drita seems to show that she was told she would be kicked off the show if she hit Marissa first: Interview With Drita.  Drita also goes on to explain what was edited (I also saw her mention this on twitter) and why she stood up for Brittany.  What I found interesting during the fight is when Marissa makes a “call the cops” reference towards Brittany’s family (her dad cooperated with the feds) yet this didn’t seem to bother Karen.  Karen normally goes mental when people bring family and the whole “cooperating with the feds” thing up (understandably) as does Renee (sore subject).  Yet not a peep was made by either when it was done to Brittany.  Anyone catch that?

After the fight, Karen seems really burned up by the fact that Brittany was looking at Drita and that they seemed to be on the same page.  She goes on to make comments later in the show about how Drita is basically recruiting Brittany against Karen.  Karen seems really bent about Drita still, which is interesting because after the sit down at the warehouse, it was supposed to be left at the table and peace seemed made, however we see now it was all a load of bullshit.  Everyone still seems resentful and Carla and Karen still have their gripes about Drita.  Nothing has changed.  Ang, you wasted your time.

Speaking of Ang….

I am heartbroken to watch her go through the lung cancer diagnosis.  It touches close to home, s my mom had lung cancer too.  It’s brutal, terrifying, and one of the biggest killers of women (that nobody wants to talk about…it’s the “you did it to yourself” cancer as far as many people are concerned.)  Karen does her best to be positive and uplifting.  Renee, however, hit a deep chord with me, primarily with her silence.  She looks shocked, terrified, and I felt like she just didn’t know what to say.  What can you say? It’s all horrible, terribly heartbreaking and unfair, and it feels as though words just fail, yet you want to say something, anything, as long as it’s the right thing.  Again, perhaps another post for another day. Regardless, Ang has been in my thoughts since I heard about her diagnosis, and I hope she is ok.  It’s not looking good, I think we all see that, but if well wishes were a cure she would be cured in no time.

Now we come down to Drita again.  I’ll be honest, I surmise that since this is the last season, Drita gives not two fucks about what the women say about her anymore.  Unless they are paying her bills, I think she couldn’t care less, aside from Ang.  Ang appears to be the one person Drita may actually speak to off camera and IRL.  I don’t think she talks to anyone else off camera.   Sooooo, on Twitter the other day, a user tagged me in the video of Drita (allegedly) fighting a woman. Here is the link to TMZ (I will say http://twitter.com/_maatteeoo_ posted it WAY before TMZ or anyone else did.) I have a few observations:

1.Drita threw some intense hits there.  I would be worried going up against her.

2. The woman she hit has had plenty to say about her on twitter, and posted video of Lee and her to Karen’s page and elsewhere.  Someone is trying to be a famewhore.

3. The woman is boohooing about her kids seeing it.  Perhaps not famewhoring by bashing your former employer on social media and then talking smack would be appropriate in preventing issues with someone who has announced on TV and social media that she feels sometimes violence is the answer.

drita

4.  Mary Bratti is now saying she “passed out from the pain”.  She had no problem screeching on her stoop and yelling at people, but is now butt hurt because she got exactly what you would expect.

stfu

So there you have it.  Violence, fighting, both physically and for ones own survival in the case of Big Ang.

Keep Ang in your thoughts and send her all the best well wishes you can.

Until next week!!!