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Category Archives: Stalkers

Social Media and the Surge of Douchebaggery

Social media is exhausting, isn’t it? Were people always douchebags or does  the douchebaggery intensify when social media gets involved?  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m often seen perusing Facebook, occasionally on instagram, sometimes on Twitter, and Pinterest.  Social media is an easy way for me to stay in touch with family overseas and across the US.  It certainly has its merits, but it also comes with some angst and annoyance. 

First stop on the social media annoyance train?  Those stupid “this one random person is offended by XYZ, so now everyone should get up in arms about it and complain” posts that are common.  “Some random person in the middle of nowhere says Santa should be gender neutral” is put on Facebook and MILLIONS of people take to Facebook in anger about how “nobody should be messing with MY Santa!” or the ironic “People are so sensitive these days!  Why don’t they worry about themselves?!”  Look folks.  If you haven’t figured out by now that certain groups put stupid stuff on social media to distract you from the important stuff going on in the world, then I don’t know what to tell you.  People get offended ALL the time, about all sorts of ridiculous stuff. You only have a choice on how to deal with it.  Either mind your business and do what you’re going to do, or consider their point/feelings and then make a change or continue as you were.  Not everything needs to be an argument or needs your opinion of how sensitive everybody is.  Know why? Because you’re being equally as sensitive.  

2nd stop: having to suss out fake accounts.  I’ve made no secret of the fact I have a person IRL who stalks me online.  Heavily. They’ve been doing it for years, have had their coworkers joining in, and admit they make multiple fake accounts to do so.  They hate everything I say but created fake accounts to get notifications of when I post on here.  Go figure.  So occasionally, I have to spot check followers, likers, and social media hits because you never know when crazy gets riled up.  Also, people outside of that scenario use social media for sketchy purposes. I happen to generally be pretty aces as sussing out fake accounts, and block them  I have no time for nonsense.  If you followed me on here and I took you off incorrectly, let me know so I can add you back on. Mistakes happen. My apologies. 

3rd stop: TMI:  Look, if you have a TMI story but it’s hilarious and self deprecating, I’m all for it.  If it’s funny, I’m in it to win it with you.  That being said, some folks put ALLLLLLLL their business on there.  Hey, I am pretty open book on here, but it’s my blog.  I blog about the good, the bad, and the ridiculous.  I love a good self deprecating story, as long as it’s got some humor about it.  

Part two of the TMI? Don’t bash your spouse or partner on social media.  Why?  First off, the internet is forever.  Secondly, and this happens all the time, people bash the shit out of their spouse on Facebook.  All their friends and family take their side, which is nice for a while, until the couple makes up.  Now that person’s friends and family don’t like the spouse or partner any more.  Everyone has beef with the spouse or partner now, except for the original poster, who now gets angry everyone else is pissed at their significant other.  Plus, once you post public cracks in your relationship, don’t be surprised when shady folks come lurkin’ around.  My husband and I have driven each other to anger before, but we respect each other enough not to bash the other person on social media.  If you’re bashing each other online,  chances are you won’t last long together, because you don’t have that respect for each other.

Next stop? Attention whoring.  Facebook posts where you announce you’re leaving, only to return with 48 hours later.  Look, nobody cares. Go. When you’re done with whatever required you to do a whole deactivation, and big announcement of your departure, then go right back and go fuck yourself because nobody cares.  It’s exhausting. Posting vague comments and when people ask you if you’re ok (even though they likely think you’re being an attention whore and exhausting) you say “yeah, I’m fine” or “DM me”.  Why bother posting it then to the general public just to say to take it private?  I get that Facebook, Twitter and the like are a narcissist’s dream, but once you achieve complete attention whore status, it needs to just end. 

Finally, my favorite: Endless political posts.  Look, we all have our beliefs. Even if your belief is that politics are the root of all evil and shouldn’t be followed, it’s a belief.  The fact is, however, that people won’t change their beliefs because you post some meme about something.  They will either nod because they agree (regardless of whether you post is true…another pet peeve of mine is sheeple who spread misinformation without taking 2 seconds to research anything) or roll their eyes and keep scrolling.  Nobody is changing their minds off your meme’s. 

Speaking of sheeple…folks, not everything on social media is true.  Take the time to research, and not from any leaning websites.  Get some objective information and learn.  Just because it follows your thought process does not make it true.  Smart is sexy.  Research is cool.  It’s no secret Facebook has been used to sway thought processes by the posts selected and placed for you to see.  Be mindful of that.  

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Quiet, Kindness and Chaos.

First snow of the season is here.  I’ll be honest, I wasn’t quite ready for it. Today was supposed to be my crazy chaos day…a crazy day at work followed by the first orthodontic session for the little one, topped of by parent teacher conferences at the big kid’s school.  I was prepped, caffeinated, and ready to attack this day and all it would entail.  I hammered out my work stuff today, ending feeling really good.  While the day was progressing, however, the calls and emails starting coming in.  Conferences…rescheduled due to the pending snow.  Orthodontist called…”can we reschedule until tomorrow due to the snow today?”.  Before I knew it, quiet and calm had fallen, along with big fat snow flakes.  I did manage to drop a return for Amazon to the UPS store on my lunch break.  Aside from that? It’s going to be a quiet night.  I can’t complain, it’s been hectic.

With our trip looming, there has been an outpouring of money, so it’s been a little tough. We needed more luggage, I needed (ok, fine, wanted) some new clothes, and we needed outfits for a party we are attending while there.  My daughter asked me if we could have matching outfits for the party.  I managed to find a dress for her that is very reminiscent of mine, a similar cardigan to go over, and similar shoes.  She’s thrilled.  I’m thrilled she wants to dress like me.  I know in a year or two, she’ll start that stage where she is mortified by my very existence, although I, like all mom’s deeply hope she won’t go through it.  She will anyway, which is why when she asks to match me, I will always say yes.  She has her own style, her own look, and is her own person.  We celebrate that.  I’ve never wanted her to be a kid who has to be like everyone else, does what everyone does, etc.  I’ve seen kids who’s parents spend a lot of time and effort to always have them keep up with whatever their friends have.  Sure, kids like to have what their friends have,  but sometimes you can see it’s a constant comparison.  I never want her to place her worth on what other kids are doing, but rather on who SHE is.  That being said, sometimes she likes the novelty of matching me, or her cousin, so I go with the flow, as long as she stays true to who she is.

I’ve commented before about the issues our school has been facing.  Redistricting brought in a lot of low income families, and the school is struggling to fundraise.  I hate to see the kids lost out, and have offered to help when possible, especially the 6th grade committee.  The PTSA and I sort of had a rough go of it, and while I love many of the women on there, I’m sure it’s best if I help in other ways.  I was blessed to have a friend of mine reach out with “hey charitable lady, need raffle prizes?” on facebook.  I emphatically said yes, and was rewarded with bags of awesome items and gift cards to donate into the school.  She also handed me a $50 gift card to a grocery store and told me to use my judgement to help someone.  How amazing is that???  I have find that many people love to help, donate, or offer something for a good cause.  They just don’t always want to do the heavy lifting of coordination, or other commitments prevent them from jumping in as they would like.  I’m a boots on the ground person, who doesn’t mind doing the work, but needs the resources.  This works well.  The fact people know I’m a doer has served me well, as you can see, because now I don’t have to beg…amazing folks just offer, knowing I’ll have a need.  It’s amazing, and I am so very lucky.  After picking up the items yesterday, my car was filled, as well as my heart.  While it sounds cheesy, it feels good to be able to put together something that helps. The gift card for the groceries…that needed a home sooner rather than later.  Next week is Thanksgiving and I wanted to be able to make someone smile.  I thought of a single mom I know.  She lost her job over the summer, and is now playing catch up.  She has always had it rough financially, but she does the very best she can for her kids.  She is always the one to be the team mom, the mom at girl scout camping, etc.  What she doesn’t have in cash she makes up for in time.  When I placed a call about needing a helper over the summer, she was the first to volunteer as my sidekick for whatever I might need.  I knew that card may make her Thanksgiving easier.  I knocked on her door and said “Happy Thanksgiving!” I explained I had been gifted the card to find a happy home for someone who deserved a break and could use a little help around the holidays.  The beaming smile I got in return made my whole day.  I’m lucky to have a friend who would donate some money to help those that need it.  I’m also lucky to have a friend who will give her time and energy to help those around her.  I’m luckiest of all that I got to be the one to help hand out some kindness and see the joy it brought.  I messaged my friend who donated the card and thanked her. She was pleased with my choice of whom to give it to.  Everyone felt a little happier last night.  Kindness will do that to a person.  Choose it whenever you can.

Then again, take no shit.  That’s a good motto too. Which leads me to:

North

So, many of you found me via twitter.  Many of you also know from both twitter and here that my family member has been stalking me online for years using fake accounts that she creates whole fake lives for.  I’ve listened to the lies, the projection of what she does on to everyone else, etc. A few weeks ago, I got a follow request (had to lock and block on all my social media) from someone that didn’t sit right with me.  I did a search, and low and behold it’s a coworker of the stalker.  I’m not mad at the coworker. She listened to what she heard and I’m sure they thought this would be a “stealth” thing to do. I think mostly, she was shocked I figured out who she was.  In fact, as soon as it clicked, I had all her info.  The internet works like that.  I messaged her, spilled all the tea, and wished her a happy Thanksgiving.  Now that being said, I’m all set.  I’m done with this.  Let me be clear.  If you come for me, my husband, or my kids, I will come back for you like it is my 2nd job.  I’m a nice person, until you make it not so.  So understand, very clearly…..I’m tired.  I’ve had enough.  The North Remembers, and Winter is Coming.

 

 

 

 

Hey stalkers, how you doing?

Yep, and now there are two.  Hi Smarpet74, or shall I refer to you by your real name, Gail.  You and Evelyn/Christa/Positive Change and the slew of other fake accounts she has are now teaming up.  Cute. Took me a while to figure it out, but here we are. If you have questions, I’d love to chat.  Really.  I have so much to tell you, and the proof to back every word up. See, what you’ve heard isn’t the real story.  Ask me, I’ll fill you in.  Want to do coffee?

 

Of course, I unlocked my account, so it was all for naught, really, wasn’t it? But it’s all good.  Locked up again, snuggly and warm.  Guess you guys can try a new one?