Bye For Now, Or How to Starve a Control Freak

So most of you know I have a stalker. If you don’t, well if you look for posts tagged stalker on here, you’ll see a post r two about it.

The thing is, despite all my efforts, she won’t quit. She even knows I know exactly when she stalks me, where she’s stalking me from, and which devices she is using. But she can’t help herself. She needs to feed on what I am doing and feels entitled to my life. I must weigh pretty heavily on her mind because she’s lurking at 2-3AM and 6-7AM. Last night, for instance, I get an alert she’s on here at 2:47 AM. Who does that? It’s like she thinks about me before she goes to sleep and right when she wakes up. Creepy, right? I kept figuring it would stop eventually, even though people very close to the situation (and her) warned me it wouldn’t. Sadly, she’s a family member, so I’m sort of stuck with her leering at me at family events.

My position is that it’s a form of interpersonal terrorism. I constantly have to check my own social media accounts to see if followers are real. I have to stay block conscious. She has so many fake accounts it’s nuts. She goes by various names, has multiples on her own names. It’s exhausting and ridiculous to watch, so I can’t imagine the energy she must expend on it all. While I’m running busy with kids, work, charities, helping people, and just trying to keep all the balls in the air, she does…this. Creates her fake accounts and frantically tries to gain access to my life. When she can’t, she tries to rope her coworkers in to do the dirty work. Anything to talk around about me round that table, I guess. Folks kept telling me the crazy is strong, and I should stop writing, stop having social media, because she’ll never stop. I held strong in that I refused to give up writing my blog, something I enjoy, because she has no self control. I never saw why I should have to make huge efforts just to be left alone like any regular person. I’ve held strong that someone having mental issues doesn’t excuse their shitty behavior. Your crazy just ain’t my problem, girl. I don’t have time for it and frankly, no matter what you think you know, you don’t know me like that. Not even close.

Yet something clicked the other day. Yet again, she was lurking, seeking, and hoping for any nugget of info. She feels entitled to my life, my story, and to know what my family is doing. It’s coocoo for cocopuffs my friends. Yet here’s the thing….she won’t find anything though, because I’m taking an indefinite break. I own the domain, and I’ll hold on to it. The fact is, not everyone needs to know my every move, not everyone is entitled to a glimpse at my life. So while The Messy Housewife blog will be here, I will be on another blog I’ve created so I can share my thoughts without some sad sack of shit lurking at my every move just to see if I am happier. Newsflash: I still am. 🙂

I’ve got some changes planned in my little corner of the world, some big news coming. Not one itsy bitsy iota is hers to know. I’m excited for what’s to come, and none of that excitement will be hers. When you have a controlling person, who feels entitled to attention and information, sometimes the only solution is to starve them of every drop of attention and info. The time has come for a diet.

I’ll reach out to those of you who I know frequently like, read and comment on my posts. I hope you’ll join me on my new blog. This blog is and has been so important to me as I’ve worked through my life the past few years, but the only way to stop a control freak is to starve them of the info they so desperately crave. Maybe I’ll be back one day. For now, however, Happy Holidays to you all!

Love, Messy xx

PS: a note to my stalker: Are you even aware your daughter was going up to people at the Christmas party asking why people are mad at you and why people don’t want to speak to you anymore? No? Don’t worry, when she approached me, I didn’t tell her all you’ve done. I didn’t tell her how you’ve caused endless problems and destroyed relationships. Instead, I adulted and referred her back to you, said some kind things to her, about her, and told her she would always be loved and missed, but that adult things are messy. You’re welcome. She told me she misses me and misses coming to my house. You did this to her, not me. Just remember that. I hope your antics trying to harass me were worth it. Now please, just go away. There will be nothing for you here. No pinterest to stalk, no social media to try to gain access to, nothing for your coworkers to lurk on, nothing to gossip about around the table.