Not long ago I read a couple of articles about romance and love. Both articles, set up almost as a letter to younger women stressed that as we get older, romance isn’t always about flowers, candy, or sweet words. Romance is in the little things. It’s the small gestures in our daily life that our partners do to show that we matter and that they want us to be happy. The articles got me thinking, and I thought I’d write a little something myself.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I married an amazing man. Nobody is more surprised than I am that I got so lucky to have found him, because I dated some real jerks before I met him. My husband is one of the most caring, generous and thoughtful people you could ever meet. He’s quick witted, and gleefully pokes fun of me daily in a good natured way. He is a man who stands by his word, even when he’d be perfectly justified in changing his mind. He always goes the extra mile to make sure his wife and kids are looked after. I’m proud to be his wife.
When we first met, my husband used to write me cards all the time. He often brought flowers. We kind of stopped with a lot of that stuff once we got married and had my son. Life got BUSY. His romantic gestures changed over time. Some of them are a little throwback to when we first met, but now romance is me finding my favorite candy bar purchased for me and tucked away in the fridge as a surprise. A hidden card tucked in my suitcase when I had to travel across the Atlantic for a funeral, telling me that he knows I do a ton here and he will do his best to cover for me while I’m gone. Romance is knowing the little things that bring me happiness and doing them without me asking. After my mother died, my artist husband did a beautiful drawing of my mom and framed it for me. It was his way of bringing her closer to me, and that picture now holds a proud place in our living room. Romance is him cooking dinner on his day off because he knows I’ve cooked all week. Romance is him showing up at my job with a coffee just the way I like it on a tough day, or a surprise lunch brought home while I’m working on a project. Romance is coming up behind me to give me a big bear hug and a kiss on the neck. Romance is making sure the car has gas before I leave for a trip. Romance is a surprise text with a meme that only the two of us would find funny that leaves me rolling with laughter.
Sometimes, I am in awe of the little ways my husband finds to spark joy with our kids, too.
His work schedule makes it tough for him to be around a lot. He works from mid day until midnight. It’s a sacrifice, and at times it’s frustrating for all of us. There are some things he simply can’t attend. Yet often, he finds a way to show up, often unexpected, which makes it even more awesome. One day, we knew he would have to miss my daughter’s gymnastic show. She was really upset but kept a brave face. I almost cried when while sitting in the stands, I saw my husband walk in with a bouquet of flowers for her, arriving just in time to see his little girl perform and hand her some beautiful roses. He found time to show up to soccer practices and football practices. One day he knew I was at the school unloading some heavy boxes and he raced over to help me.
I’m shocked on a daily basis that such a nice guy puts up with a pain in the ass like me, and also why I get so enraged when people try to take advantage of his kind and generous nature. It’s one thing to mess with me, but if anyone messes with my 3 it’s a whole other ballgame. This car has no brakes so to speak. Then again, I know he feels the same about me as well.
Marriage is the day to day. It’s the big picture while managing all the little fine details as a pair. It’s not just the happy, floaty times, but the down and dirty times too. Marriage is getting through the times that make you angry or sad. Marriage is joining hands and knowing it’s the two of you against whatever life wants to throw at you, and knowing you’ll come out of it on the other side gripping the other one’s hand, stronger together.
Romance looks different than it did 15 years ago, but I’ve gotta say it looks far better than I could have imagined.
I’m a lucky girl, who finally got her prince charming.