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Of Dogs and Dreadlocks

I love dogs. Except my neighbor’s dog.  That dog drives me mental.  It’s a cute little dog, who barksandbarksandbarksandbarksandbarksandbarksandbarksandbarks.  The guy who owns it appears deadened to the sound of the dog barking.  I also questioned if he had vision problems, because he also seemed not to see the little dog run over in my front yard and take a shit.  Multiple times. He also appeared blind to the dog chasing my daughter and she yelled in fear.  He seems nonplussed about his dog running in front of cars.  Fortunately for him, he has his sight and can hear, just selectively.  Unfortunately for me, he’s moved in next door.

The woman next door got divorced from her husband.  He was a tall African American man, friendly, kind, always quick with a wave and a smile.  Aside from him liking an our football team’s rivals, he was really nice to have as a neighbor, as was she.   One day she saw me outside and told me they were no longer together. She then quickly moved in a white guy with bad dreadlocks, who appears to be rather hippie-esque.  Look, I like dreadlocks, on hair that is locked properly.  If I’m honest, as a white female, I haven’t seen or met many white folks who have pulled off dreads really well. Maybe it’s just the folks I’ve seen, but that’s been my experience.  Neighbor guy has long dreads that have a greenish tinge.  He prefers to walk around shirtless and sweaty, and he’s a REALLY loud moaner in bed.  I know this because I’ve sadly heard it, and so have the neighbors on the other side.  One time he was moaning and I thought he’d injured himself outside (that’s how loud it was) so I hollered out the window to ask if he was ok and did he need assistance.  Once it occurred to me what was actually happening, and realizing the question I had just asked, I pondered grabbing a knife in the kitchen and cutting off my own head to stop the visual. Mostly my issue with the guy stems not really with him, but with his dog.  It never stops barking.   Anywho, Neighborhippie was outside blowing leaves, wearing a Rastafarian hat, no less, for about 2-3 hours the other day, while his dog barked outside my window.   It barked, and barked, for the entire time, while the neighbor just ignored it. It’s not even a big bark, it’s a high pitched bark, one that sears itself into your skull and makes your brain hurt.  

After hours of the load whir of the leaf blower with a loud piercing bark accompanying it, I wondered why he didn’t put the dog inside.  The barking continued.  Now their other dog was barking.  The dog in the house on the other side was barking to tell the little barkers to shut up.  I finally yelled to shut up.  My dog looked at me annoyed with the dogs and I think he rolled his eyes at me for yelling too.  Now the dog I am dogsitting for begins to bark too.

It was chaos.   I have enough chaos.  What you don’t HEAR as my neighbor, however, is my chaos.  I keep that shit quiet. My dog agrees.  He only barks once if he wants to come in.  When he barks? I go get him.  I don’t let him bark endlessly for hours.  I like the lady next door.  I think she’s just clueless of what’s fully going on because she’s not home when most of these scenarios occur.  I don’t really want to say something because I don’t want to start a conflict.  Neighbor conflicts are the worst.  Luckily another neighbor who is friendly with her plans on mentioning the barking in hopes to just make her aware it’s a bit of an issue.  Fingers crossed. 

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