This, folks, is when the feeling of defeat fell over me:
After a whirlwind vacation, things at Chez Messy are, well, messy. They’re also chaotic. Not chaotic enough to not bother putting toilet paper on a roll, mind you, but chaotic. I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one who sees no paper on the roll before the moment someone needs to use it. I think I need to give the kids a toilet paper replacement class. I’ve had some wins this week, and I’ve had some losses. The above image, mind you, made me realize how deep the nitty gritty goes that needs to be tackled.
We arrived home and I immediately began loads of laundry. The suitcases are (semi) unpacked. I need to delve into that and get them sorted and stored away. Jet lag this trip has been more brutal than ever before for me, and the whole family is struggling. Even my husband, who normally goes to bed in the early hours of the morning, crashed at 9 PM the other day. The kids are up at 5:30, unheard of in this household except on Christmas, and they are sinking into misery starting at 8 PM. We’re still operating as if we are 5 hours ahead. With work, school, etc, this makes the days short and weird.
Some highlights this week include scoring two gifts at a great price, one of which was exceptionally difficult to find. I called and went to over 8 stores in the area trying to find it (I found one under a display table of toys, still in the shipping box…total score!). We added a pet to our family, details on that later, we’re dogsitting (and everyone is getting along swimmingly, even the cat). We’ve started the orthodontist work for my daughter. I scored some good deals using price matching on some needed items. I managed to get some essential oils that smell like Christmas personified which at least makes the house smell nice, even in it’s chaos. It’s been BUSY.
Because of all of the busyness, the suitcases are still out, Christmas decorations haven’t even been started aside from the elf, which I forgot to move last night and upset the little one. My reliance on Amazon failed me when a necessary item didn’t arrive and I had to hustle to replace it locally (again, more busyness). In all my stress, I realized my husband was struggling with his own stresses this week, so I dropped my own at the door and helped him through his. This sounds weird, but I’ve always tried to take on other’s stresses while carrying my own. This time, I tried to just tell myself my worries would have to be put down for a while so that I could help him. Somehow it worked, and I was able to help him tackle his tasks and cover my own while allowing myself to not worry about what had been stressing me prior. I ended the day exhausted, but content. The next day he was helping me. Teamwork is key.
The orthodontic situation is brutal. This week, little one had spacers put in, and the next day, a palate expander. This means that every night, I have to insert this little metal “key” into a whole in a metal contraption at the top of her mouth and turn it. And every night she cries, and cries, and says “it hurts, Mama” until I want to cry, and sometimes do. Nobody wants to feel like they are causing their child hurt or discomfort, but I have to do this thing every night to save her teeth. She’s sore, struggling to eat (everything gets caught up above the expander) and I’m not sure who hates the thing more, her or me. On the outside, I stress the importance and reasoning for it, while giving hugs, advil, and reassurance. On the inside, I cry, and wish my husband were there to help me. Parents have told me their kids struggled too, that it gets better. I sure hope so. 18 more turns of the key to go.
Tomorrow begins the weekend, and I expect a busy one getting things organized and sorted for the holidays. Last year I fell too far behind with trips and parties and ended up with a TON of work Christmas eve. This year I’d like to plan better. At the end of the day, Christmas is about togetherness and love, so I don’t need it to be perfect. I’d just like to do it with toilet paper on the roll and not looking at suitcases.
Standards. They may be rather low to the ground, but I have some.
For now, I have to replace some toilet paper.