Oof, it’s been an exhausting few weeks.
June is always a chaotic month for us. We have family birthdays nearly every weekend, the end of school, the beginning of summer, and there’s always some extra chaos peppered in for good measure. I always reach July hot, sweaty, exhausted, and ready for a nap.
We entered June in a bit of chaos after hearing that our whole school district was getting shifted. While we will stay at the same school, most of our school friends will be leaving. It’s very depressing, and if I’m honest, it’s even more depressing because the whole situation smells like racial and economic segregation to me. I chose to put my kids in a diverse school, surrounded by kids from all racial and economic backgrounds, in order to mimic the real world they will enter after they finish their schooling. It feels like we are going backwards in this country sometimes. Racism seems more on the forefront that it has, and I’m becoming acutely aware that people have a general distaste for poor people. I am concerned that some of the decision making was done for the wrong reasons, and it sickens me. I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think so.
As I mentioned, I also joined the PTA. I am not sure at the moment if I am a good fit. I am very much an eternal optimist, peppered with sarcasm, and frankly, I’m a bit of a savage. I’m the mom most likely to drop the F bomb. I go at things 150%, but I think that scares folks. I need to figure out if it will work, and I need to do so quickly.
June had the usual nonsense by the usual. The problem is, people don’t realize I’m hot, I’m cranky, and I am smart enough to always stay one step ahead when under fire. I’m a survivor, with a smattering of OCD, that touch of savagery, and I always will be.
It was also the anniversary of my mother’s death. You’d think by now I’d handle it like a pro. The fact is that over the years, it started to get a bit easier, and then it got harder. Harder because I realize all the things she is missing out on. I watch my kids grow and see them accomplish things, and I know just how stinkin’ PROUD she would be. I know that some things would just be so much easier if she was here. I have my “other mothers” who are women in my life who have stepped into that mom role for me, and for that I am eternally grateful. I even have a woman who says she considers me one of her grandkids, and signed a recent note “love you like a granddaughter”. A someone who has lost both of her grandmas, this made me feel so touched. These women who have stepped up as “other mothers”, they are moms at heart and soul, who not only mother their own kids, but see a kid in need and step in, even if that kid is in her 40’s. This year was a tough one. I can’t explain why, but I wasn’t having any nonsense from anyone, and pretty much holed up in the house by myself. My husband knew it was a tough day for me, and came home from work early armed with buffalo wings. We curled up on the couch, ate, drank beer, watched a comedy, and all was right in the world again. He’s the best.
The other turn of events was that I treated myself to a dress. I had no damned business buying that dress, mind you, but I was obsessed with it. I had seen it when I went to buy a dress for a family event, and I LURRRRVVVED it. I tried it on, and I fell in love. The problem was, it was out of my budget, a bit snug, and frankly, not going to work for the event I was attending. I left without it. My heart was sad. I watched it go on sale, 10% off, 20% off…but it was still more than I can justify spending. The day I was holed up mourning my mother’s passing years ago, I got an email that said the store had a massive sale. The dream dress I loved was on sale, for almost 70% off.
I bought it.
No shame in my game.
Ok, I feel a little shame.
It’s not exactly a dress I will get tons of use out of. It’s a bit formal. HOWEVER, I do have a big party coming up later this year so I can justify buying it for the price I paid. Oh yes, I noticed the sku ended in my mom’s “lucky number” so I convinced myself she’d say “oh go ahead”.
Camp started today. My son LOVES his camp. It’s not fancy, by any stretch, but he loves it. I had asked my daughter if she wanted to go to camp, and she declined. She prefer to spend time with family members, or at home. I did keep her in a sport activity once a week, as well as sign her up for a camp that’s a half day. She did her first day today, and when I showed up to get her on my lunch break, she asked to stay. It was damned near 95 degrees out, but she was having fun. It made me smile to see the kids tired, sweaty, and worn out tonight. It seemed like they had had a productive, fun, and tiring day. I topped off the evening by cooking on the grill, and it felt like a summer day.
Know what else felt like a summer day? When my home office was about 100 degrees. WooNELLY it was HOT. Thank goodness for a window AC, although I can’t run it while I’m working on certain projects. This heat is awful. I’m not cut out for heat at all. Well, technically I am not cut out for anything too hot or too gold. I’m like an old version of Goldilocks.
So now starts our new normal. School days have been traded for camp days and field trips. Early mornings, later nights, and events at every turn. The little one has her birthday this month. God knows what we’ll do for a party. I always figure it out though, usually by the skin of my teeth. Keeping it simple is normally a good plan, so I think we will go with that.
Keeping it simple sounds really good right about now. Roll on July…but keep it simple, ‘k?