Every now and again it’s good to not take yourself quite so seriously. Luckily, I have a touch of crazy about me, a strange inner monologue, and afamily who enjoys joking about my mishaps. Therefore, I am going to share some of the thoughts/moments that occurred throughout my day.
7:30 am. Woke up to brain misfiring, laid in better utterly confused about what day it was. Thought it was likely a weekday and I should therefore get out of bed immediately to get ready for work, but a tiny part of me held out, just in case it was Saturday. Realized it was probably Friday, and dragged myself out of bed like I was doing the “Dead man walking” hallway to my inevitable demise.
Got in the shower, and tried to stretch a little. Realized I am quite unflexible, but consoled myself in that I am at least flexible to wash my own ass in the early morning hours.
Went to get out of the shower and caught a glimpse of my husband’s black shirt hanging on the bathroom door. For some reason in my decaffeinated state I thought there was a stranger in the bathroom, aka psycho. Emitted a scream of terror, but no sound came out, confirming that my nightmares have been a good litmus test as I always scream in terror during a nightmare but no sound ever comes out (furthering the nightmare aspect). Resolve myself to the fact I am a. Never going to be a scam queen in a horror movie, and b. an incredible target for psychos.
4 year old comes in the bathroom and uses the toilet. Requests toilet paper and that I wipe her butt. Living the dream,
Took child to camp. Parked on a slight incline, and when I went to disembark from the vehicle, the drop to the pavement seemed greater, making me feel like I had leapt of a cliff. Yes, I have short legs. My son laughed at me and commented how he is almost as tall as me.
Saw frustrated mother attempting to drop her child off at camp. He was bawling and carrying on. She was red faced and angry. Been there, done that. Wasn’t sure who to feel worse for. They got back in their car and drove away. Was secretly glad though that it wasn’t me, as my little one has been a challenge lately, and I know how she felt.
Had coffee. Sometimes it feels like the world is in chaos, but that first sip of coffee? It’s as if the world slides to a halt for one second, and all is well and soft and blurry. Ahh.
Realized my new coworker looks a bit like Danny Trejo. Patted myself on the back for actor recognition. My husband is appalled at my lack of movie trivia knowledge. I never know movie lines, yet he speaks them fluently. Was able to quote a line about dicks from the movie “clerks” today and felt like a superhero.
Was still left pondering my experience from yesterday. I had a bad day yesterday, and on the way home, some jerk cut me off. I actually sat and pondered whether the satisfaction of slamming into the back of his car while giggling wickedly would be worth the subsequent hassle and rise in my insurance. I’m still mulling it over.
Remembered the guy in town who has the same make and model car I do, in the same color. It’s rare to find them, but whenever he used to see me, he’d honk and wave and point excitedly at himself and his car. he even stopped and pulled in behind me while I was at a friend’s house one day. He got out and proclaimed “we have the same car!”. Um. Ok. I haven’t seen him in a while.this is a good thing.
I like baked beans on toast with cheese,
I will probably fart all night after eating it.
Daughter’s feet smell like vintage fritos. Why is this? Bath for her,
And that’s it for me. Bed time! Again, thanks for reading!