Hello, Loveys! It has been far too long! I feel so awful for abandoning my blog, but things have just been so hectic that I rarely have much time to gather my thoughts, never mind put them all down. Being a wife, mother, full time employee, and member of a Huge family sure will take it’s toll on a gal, especially when she is of the…ahem….non-Martha Stewart type. Yes, the house is a disaster, I think it mirrors the state of chaos I am mentally in all of the time. There is simply too much to do, too little time to do it in, and, well, two kids,
Ah, the kids.
There is the Laid Back Kid, who is 7. He is as his nickname implies…laid back. He’s easy, as far as kids go. Smart, kind, and mellow. He’s independent. He’s happy. Then , there is the other child. Tiny Diva, as I refer to her on here, is anything but easy, She just turned 3. They say 2’s are terrible, but oy, the 3’s will test a bitch’s patience, let me tell you.
Tiny Diva (TD) is stubborn, ornery, and demanding. She whines. She cries. She points to her brother when all the cousins are playing and shouts “It’s Mine!”. (just goes to show that to a 3 year old, everything is an it, and it is theirs). She exhausts me, I run after her saying “don’t do this”, “please stop that” “don’t talk to your brother that way” “don’t talk to me that way” “hands to yourself”….all in vain. Then I go to sleep, and start it all over again.
People look at me like I’m a crazy person, or worse. Someone who can’t control her kids.
However, what they don’t see is the little face that pops up next to my bed in the morning with a huge grin and proclaims “good morning Mommy! I will cover you in kisses!” as she plants tiny delicates kisses on my cheeks and nose. They don’t hear her tell me randomly while we’re in the car “I love you Mommy, so so much”. They don’t hear her tell her brother, who she called “it” earlier in the day, that he is a good big brother, and her favorite boy, and she loves him. They don’t know that under all the whining and crying, is a little person who just LOVES, when she’s not bossing people around that is.
3 is a tough age. Just old enough to be treated more like a big kid, but still to young to do a lot of big kid stuff. Old enough to put her pants on, not old enough to pull her shirt off by herself. Old enough to want to explore, but still young enough to get scared by it all. She is stuck in a strange age that gives her the will, but not always the way. It’s made worse, I think, by having an independent older brother (who if I am honest is like havi a 40 year old in a 7 year old’s body.).
I want her to dream big, to not give up, and to do whatever in life will make her happy. I just don’t want her doing all of it right now.
Raising a daughter is tough. I know I was a pain in my parents’ ass, and frankly, by comparison to some of my high school friends, I was a good kid! My daughter is fiery, yet she is fragile. I want to do right by her. I want her to believe she can do anything her brother can do. She just can’t do it at 3.
So when you are out and see a frazzled, tired mom trying to calm a whining and demanding 3 year old, give her a comforting smile. Know that under a bratty acting facade may be a sweet, loving kid who would melt the hardest of hearts. Know that the mom wishes you could see all the amazing stuff about her child that she sees each day, and not this unfavorable moment. Know that that mom is probably really tired and fed up, yet she keeps going because she loves. She also probably wants a nap…bad. Moms, if you have a 2-3 year old, I feel your pain on those tough days. I’m right here with ya. I’m wiping butts, noses, and trying to stop a kid from bossing her brother around. We gotta stick together and support each other. Be gentle and pause your judgement when you see a naughty toddler, we’ve all been there. It sucks in the moment.
Yet at night, when the lights go out, a stuffed ducky is clutched tightly, and I am closing her bedroom door, the little voice that calls out “I love you Mommy! I love you SO much!” makes it all worthwhile.